Celebrating 5 months!

kc

Celebrating 5 months of sobriety today! It’s been a while since I’ve written. I was thinking about shutting this site down. I asked my sponsor to take a peek before I did. I explained that I didn’t need it anymore. It had served its purpose for me. Writing on this blog helped me when I was too scared to make my way into the rooms of A.A. It allowed me to share my thoughts and my feelings when it was just too hard to do in person. We spoke on the phone last night and she explained to me that I owe it to others who are in the same position I was 5 months ago. It was in the blog world that I received my first support. You all saved me when I was just too scared to save myself. So I have decided that for the time being I will continue to share my story and hope that it will inspire others to start down the path of recovery.

This past weekend I visited my sister in Arkansas. While we were watching the Cardinals game one evening my brother in law said to me, “I don’t think you are really an alcoholic. I’ve never really seen you that drunk. Well, maybe 3 times I thought you may have had a bit too much wine, but that was it.” Now I found myself trying to convince him that I was in fact an alcoholic. This is a conversation I never thought I would have. It’s strange to try and explain to someone why you are the person you tried to pretend you were not. I told him about some of my drinking shenanigans. To which he replied, “That is funny as shit. You should write a book.”

It is getting more humorous the further away from it I get. At the time it was hard work hiding bottles of Vodka in my gym bag and unloading them at 5 AM at the local car wash dumpster. Nice! Now I am beginning to see some humor in that.

I also had another first this year. I went to my first parent/teacher conferences and choir performance SOBER. It was different. It was pretty cool not to have to worry if people could smell the booze in my Sonic cup or permeating from my pores.

I have an amazing new sponsor! I met her on the women’s retreat I attended. She is just my gift from God. As I always tell her, “God just plopped her right down in the middle of my life.” Thanks, God! I was so ashamed of the mother I had become, and she has really helped me work past some of those issues. Her first words to me after I asked her to be my sponsor were, “I will NEVER judge you.” Just what I needed to hear and the miraculous thing about that…..she never does. She lets me vent about how much I miss my old life sometimes. She says that I am completely normal for having those thoughts. Frankly, I think everyone should have a sponsor. Best thing EVER! 

I have increased the amount of meetings I attend. I feel God in those rooms. He is among us. I never had much of a relationship with God prior to recovery. I believed in God but had never really related to a God of my understanding. Now I have a VERY personal relationship with God. I talk to Him daily and He answers me daily. He is constantly working in my life and demanding I take action. It is an amazing feeling.

And finally this shit is just sometimes funny! I laugh my ass off in meetings. The stories I hear…the people I listen to….CRAZY GOOD LAUGHTER! I was in a meeting yesterday morning complaining about how much I hate fall now. I used to love it. Big glass of red wine…..okay, bottle, but whose counting anyway? This man in the room spoke up and said, “It gets easier. Soon you will stop associating the seasons with drinking, sports events with drinking and going to the dry cleaners with drinking.” That is some funny stuff right there and all true!

So that is what it is like for me at 5 months. Some days good and some days bad but everyday better than my best day drinking. Peace to all of you who so graciously helped me through these past 5 months!

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9 responses to “Celebrating 5 months!

  • Lisa Neumann

    5 months is an incredible feat. 5 months of doing anything new is miraculous. Feeling happy for you. Thanks for the good laughs. And for what it’s worth writing has always helped me so I’ve never stopped. Stopped blogging, but never stopped writing. I’ve found it to be the North in my sober compass … Always pointing me toward truth. Thank you for sharing your sobriety. Lisa

  • carrythemessage

    What a wonderful post, Kristin. I hear nothing but gratitude in this, and I can see by that beautiful smile of yours and the smile behind your words that you’re in a good place. That we can laugh at ourselves – what a hoot! I could never do that before. Took myself too seriously. I can take my recovery seriously, but I don’t take myself seriously anymore. Rule #62. 🙂

    And I like what your sponsor had to say about your blog. It doesn’t have to be a chore, but what you wrote about today – the laughter, the love, the feeling that the Creator is near and dear…these are the things that we do when carrying the message – giving HOPE. I know a few people blog for a while when the chips are down, feel better and then move on. But I think it’s when things turn up is the best time to still write and share this with others. That is why I do it. Sure I have shitty times and days, but I know that writing helps, and when I have wonderful times and day, writing helps with that too.

    your blog, your rules. But I love posts like this, and I am sure those who are lurking and/or seeking some sort of way out of their own alcoholism appreciate seeing that hey, even after 5 months, I can feel like *that*? Fantastic!

    Congrats on those five months – well deserved. And yes, you will soon learn to break the associations you have with drinking (I loved the dry cleaners line…I can relate 😉 )

    love and light,

    Paul

    • recoveringkristin

      Paul,

      As always I love every word you say. You have an amazing gift. Thank you for taking the time to write this beautiful message to me. It is so great share recovery with people like you. You inspire me and give me something to strive for. Thank you for that!

      Peace to you always!
      Kristin

  • sherryd32148

    Congratulations!!!! Five months is a big hairy deal.

    Yay you!

    Sherry

  • Maggie Shores

    So awesome!!! Congrats on 5 months, it is truly amazing what transformations our lives go thru once we put the drink down! I love hearing about it, it’s a true gift and a miracle. I am so very happy for you! Woot woot!

  • Sober Chick

    I hear the happiness in your voice. Congrats on 5 months! That’s amazing and even though I don’t know you, I am proud of your success! Keep doing what your doing and remember the basics. I found around the 6 month mark I started to get complacent and stop doing the very things that helped me get sober in the first place. For you, one of those things is your blog, so I’m glad to see you will stick with writing. We have alot of mental changes the first year and I look forward to reading more of your posts. God bless!

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