Well last week was a bit of an ass kicker. I was in a funk and I just couldn’t get myself out of it. I was so incredibly full of self pity. Poor me I can’t drink! Poor me I don’t go to happy hours ever again! Poor me I can’t drink with my neighbors in the street anymore. Poor me I can’t get lost in a bottle to make the time pass. Well I am glad to report I am OVER that self pity today. Good lord I was in it deep!
Today I say YAY me I haven’t had a drink in 77 days. Hooray for me! I play with my kids and do fun activities with my family. Go Kristin! I get to do all sorts of things I used to love like paint and write. These are things I lost all interest in when I drank. I have a life now. I wake up and have a whole day waiting for me to do something GREAT. My kids love that I LISTEN to them now. I pay attention to them. I laugh with them. My husband and I have a new relationship. My sister and I have fantastic talks about things that REALLY matter. I have always loved talking to her but now I have such an appreciation for the kind of relationship I have with her. She is my “temporary” sponsor while I am still in the process of finding a permanent one. Did I mention she is NOT an alcoholic but damn she can set me straight! 🙂
I just love accomplishing things….ANY things! When I drank I didn’t care so much about what got done and what didn’t.
Sponsor update! So I left a message because she didn’t pick up. Apparently she is out of town and will be returning today. Hopefully she will call me but if not, I am feeling brave enough to call her back. Before sobriety I would have looked at that as “stalking” her. Now I am learning to ask for help. I am just doing the work. I Wake up and thank God for the amazing life He has given me. I go to meetings! I call other women in the program. I do something creative. I do fun things! I just keep on doing it day after day. People in recovery tell me this is how it works so I am following direction. The other night after a meeting this man who was celebrating 32 years came up and hugged me. He congratulated me on 73 days. I said “Oh my gosh! I have nothing compared to you”. He said “Kid, it’s a lot harder to get 30 days than 32 years. You’re doing great. Keep doing it”! What an awesome thing to hear. I am so grateful for the amazing people God is placing right before me. Blessed am I.